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Dispatch from Forbearance Presbyterian Church

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Parker and the Question of Sin

by Charlotte Johnstone

When Forbearance's nominating committee met under the leadership of Parker Buckhouse, lawyer and strict constructionist, he quickly educated them as to the ramifications of the Presbyterian Book of Order's section G-6.0106b and its instructions concerning ordination of elders and deacons. The succinctness of section G-6.0106b appealed to Parker's tidy mind and he was quite pleased that his church had seen fit to ratify his personal agenda with such clarity.

"There it is in black and white, folks. Section G-6.0106b states that 'Those who are called to office in the church are to lead a life in obedience to scripture and in conformity to the historic confessional standards of the church. Among these standards is the requirement to live either in fidelity within the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman (W-4.9001), or chastity in singleness. Persons refusing to repent of any self-acknowledged practice which the confessions call sin shall not be ordained and/or installed as deacons, elders, or ministers of the Word and Sacrament.' Now, folks, we all know what that refers to and it is our solemn duty to examine all candidates for elder and deacon as to their complete compliance with the sexual standards set forth."

As the implications of the word "examine" began to dawn on the committee, dismay and astonishment began to surface. Miss Lily, Forbearance's oldest member, perhaps spoke for them all when she immediately objected. "Do you mean to tell me, Parker, that we are to delve into sexual histories? That our church mandates that we invade what amounts to perhaps the last bit of privacy any of us are entitled to? This is not some faceless 'issue,' Parker. The nominees you propose we question are our friends, our neighbors, people of faith whom we trust and admire, for goodness sake!" However, Parker was undeterred and, to the acute discomfort of Miss Lily and the others, he set out to "cleanse" Forbearance's leadership of any sexual ambiguity by calling in Alec Stennis, a man about whom Parker had suspicions.

Q: "Alec, you are 42 years old and single, right?"
A: "Correct."
Q: "Do you live alone?"
A: "No, I share a home with my friend, Paul."
Q: "What is the nature of your relationship with Paul?"
A: "Paul and I have been partners since college."
Q: "What do you mean by 'partners'?"
A: "What does that have to do with my becoming a deacon, Parker?"
Q: "Well, because of your living arrangements, we are required to ask the following: Are you a homosexual?"
A: "Is that important for you to know, Parker? Would my sexual orientation, one way or another, make a difference in how I handed out bulletins, ushered or called on the elderly?"
Q: "You refuse to answer the question?"
A: "What I refuse, Parker, is this intrusive inquisition!"

"Parker," Miss Lily said when Alec left the room, "how do you know I'm not gay?"

"Oh, Miss Lily, don't be ridiculous."

"Well, think about it, Parker. I never married. I share my home with two close women friends. How can you be sure, Parker? I've known you since you were a boy and I've served beside you as an elder. You have, I believe, regarded me as a person of integrity and faith, but you know nothing of my sexual history. Would you and your section G-6.0106b like to know, Parker? And if I were indeed gay, would that negate all the years of leadership I have given to this church, making me a lesser person relegated to some sort of spiritual back pew? Does one's sexual history trump everything else in the character department?"

Parker was somewhat taken aback. Miss Lily, gay? Dismissing the possibility
from his mind and, after muttering something about "only following orders," he pressed ahead with the next nominee, Barbara Rusk, a session candidate.

Q: "Barbara, you were divorced several years ago, right?"
A: "Yes, but we have reconciled our differences. Hal and I plan to be remarried soon."
Q: "Where does he live?"
A: "He moved back in with the children and me four months ago."
Q: "Have you resumed a sexual relationship with him?"
A: "For heaven's sake, Parker! That's between him and me, thank you very much."
Q: "Did you have any romantic attachments since you were divorced?"
A: "I had a brief relationship with another man during a period of great personal turmoil, a mistake I regret deeply."
Q: "May I ask if that relationship was sexual in nature?"
A: "No, you may not."
Q: "Are you aware that one of the requirements for ordination as elder is chastity in singleness?"
A: "Parker, I made full disclosure of that episode to Rev. Hustisford and to Hal. We received counseling and we will be taking our marriage vows with a deep appreciation for the grace of forgiveness. While I sincerely regret my mistake, I do not regret the spiritual growth that resulted from that mistake. It has been a painful journey for us both. And, speaking of painful, Parker, this takes the cake."

Barbara fled in embarrassment. Next came the committee's old friend, Frank Yager.

Q: "Frank, a couple of questions before we propose you for ordination as an elder. After your wife died, you had a hard time, right?"
A: "Yeah. Pretty lonely. We were married for 41 years, you know."
Q: "And after about a year you started seeing Sadie Mason?"
A: "Yeah, Sadie and I get along real good. She's been a widow for two years now, she was a great friend to my wife and we share a lot of memories."
Q: "You and Sadie go on vacations together?"
A: "That's right. Couple of cruises and a car trip to Vegas."
Q: "Now, don't take offense, but on those trips did you and Sadie share the same room?"
A: "Well, we save where we can. What are you getting at?"
Q: "We need to know if you and Sadie practiced chastity in singleness."
A: "What's the matter with you, Parker? Where do you get off asking me something like that?"
Q: "If you won't tell us, Frank, we might have to ask Sadie."
A: "Well, you just do that and, bless her, I think she'd smack your face, sonny!"

After Frank stormed out and Miss Lily stopped laughing, she directed their attention to the opening sentence of section G-6.0106b: "Those who are called to office in the church are to lead a life . . . in conformity to the historic confessions of the church."

"I spent some time with the Presbyterian Book of Confessions and what the confessions call 'sin' includes the following: Failure to marry only people of evangelical faith; picturing God in any way; failure to keep a promise; boasting of the merits of one's own work; obtaining goods through deceptive merchandising; usury; gossiping; having a superstition; being idle on the Sabbath; unnecessary thoughts about worldly recreations. Quite a list, Parker-one that might eventually exclude us all. And then there is perhaps the most poignant one: 'All [people], good and bad alike . . . fall under God's judgment. No one is more subject to that judgment than the [person] who assumes that he/she is guiltless before God or morally superior to others.'"

"Parker, I'm old enough to recognize unfairness when I see it. Labeling good people in order to exclude them from leadership in the church is cruel. And when that exclusion is justified by the cultural anxiety present only in the one doing the excluding, it is positively sinful."

"Miss Lily," warned Parker, "if we do not rigorously obey the mandate in section G-6.0106b of the Book of Order, Forbearance could get into trouble. We would be in defiance."

"Parker," Miss Lily sighed, "people would still be sitting in the back of the bus if no one had the courage to be 'in defiance.' If there is one thing old age has taught me, it is that there are some principles worth fighting for. And refusing to narrowly label, or unjustly exclude from church leadership, friends of strong faith and dedicated discipleship-people of wisdom and experience-is one of those principles."

And so it came to pass that, while Parker remains suspicious of them all now, including Miss Lily, Forbearance has acquired an elder rebuilding a marriage, a deacon who may be gay and another elder who may or may not be "romancing" Sadie. So far, as Miss Lily is wont to wryly note, the realm of God has not collapsed.

Charlotte Johnstone is a member of Immanuel Presbyterian Church in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She (and the cast of Forbearance Presbyterian Church) welcome comments. Write to her at Horizons, 100 Witherspoon St., Louisville, KY 40202-1396 or email wjohns4949@aol.com.

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