 |
|
|
|
|
 Speaking our SufferingIt is silence that kills." Catherine of Siena (14th century) In Western culture, it is common to keep our pain to ourselves. The greater the suffering, the more we tend to withdraw. We've been taught to do this, to bear trauma privately, to keep it inside and to just get on with life. Likewise, we who have not suffered trauma directly often act in ways that keep the suffering ones silent. We don't want to hear their stories because we won't know what to say. When others voice their pain-their grief, their loss, their despair---we believe we must somehow fix it or make it go away. We believe we must respond with a solution, that it's not enough to just listen. These are cultural burdens of growing up in Western society. We want to make life smooth and comfortable, to have life constantly improving. If something goes wrong, we internalize it as our fault. If people shares their burdens, we think we have to fix them. We've lost the processes and rituals by which people grieve together, where we come together not to change life, but simply to experience it. We have forgotten how to walk through life---with its great cycles of darkness and chaos followed by rebirth and light---together. We're experiencing this more and more in America these days. Many people are suffering more than ever, and our entire culture is far more anxious and unhappy. Some of this suffering is a result of September 11. Some of it was already present and has just been exacerbated by the increased insecurity and fear generated by that day. I find that when I talk to people about their fear and anxiety, too many of them are trying to bear it alone. They don't know that many of us feel similarly, even if we haven't experienced a direct trauma or loss. I wonder why so many of those who suffer are silent? Perhaps they don't know how to talk about their experiences or how to put words to the searing emotions they feel. Perhaps they are trying to spare those around them from the pain of sorrow or unhappiness. Perhaps they have gone silent as a gift of love to the rest of us, not wanting us to suffer as they are suffering. Margaret Wheatley writes, teaches and speaks about radically new practices and ideas for organizing in chaotic times. She is president of The Berkana Institute, a charitable global foundation serving life-affirming leaders around the world. Learn more about her by visiting www.margaretwheatley.com or calling 801/377-2996. Listening with Our Hearts The theme of the 2002 PW Global Exchange to East and West Africa was "Sisters Together: Listening with Our Hearts." Last October, participants traveled to Ghana and Kenya to hear the stories of our African sisters, seeking God's spirit to heal the wounds of our history, to awaken our awareness, to teach and lead us into truth, to reconcile us to each other and to God. These women were then charged to return home and share what they heard with women and men throughout their synod. To learn more about the PW Global Exchange or learn the name and contact information of the participant from your synod, contact pw_pcusa@ctr.pcusa.org or visit www.pcusa.org/pw.
Turning to One Another: Simple Conversations to Restore
Hope to the Future "I believe we can change the world if we start listening to one another again. Not mediation, negotiation, problem-solving, debate, or public meetings. Simple, truthful conversation where we each have a chance to speak, we each feel heard, and we each listen well. This is how great changes begin, when people begin talking to each other about their experiences, hopes and fears." To learn more visit www.turningtooneanother.net. |
Resource
 © 2004 Horizons, Presbyterian Women |